Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
