I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
