What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
