just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
