Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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