a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
