he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My penis needs a shock collar
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
