It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
