Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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