Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
