The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
