Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
