how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
