So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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