Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
