I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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