You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
