That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
