I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
