why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
