sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
