Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
