i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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