I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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