Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
