? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
