is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
