Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
