i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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