youre lurking in front of me
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
