Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
zippers are such a cool invention
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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