I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
someone threw a dead crab at me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
