he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
