dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
