doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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