I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
