And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
