There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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