Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
