I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
