One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
