in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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