Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Terrible idea I love it
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
