I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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