it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
do herpes really smell.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
