Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
