He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
