i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
