I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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