someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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