Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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