More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
