How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I had to cum in my sink.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
