we made out on top of his cat.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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