This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
