He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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