I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
